Raising A Boy

This was first published to help pro youth workers communicate with adolescent boys. There’s wisdom in this article for parents, too.

1. Gather over food. Gather in small teams of just a few boys.

2. Use the “Sixty Second Law:” Ask your topic in 15 seconds and then wait for the answer for forty five seconds.

3. Make use of sideways discussions such as doing work side by side at a service project, in the passenger seat of a car or washing the dishes after a fundraiser.

4. Place anything in their hands and fingers. Our office is filled with gadgets, sports balls and magazines. Boys who are busy with their hands talk much easier, even if they don’t look you in the eyes constantly.

5. Go outdoors. More often than not, leaders do too many chats inside. Pick up a basketball and go outside the house. Get a stroll around the block. Go with the whole group.

6. Please don’t be afraid to ask emotional questions. But be prepared for the answer to take several sessions to get back to you. Be patient.

7. Don’t take “I don’t know” as the initial answer. Rephrase the subject in a fewer amount of words and phrases. If that doesn’t work, take a look at number six above.

8. Before doing discussion sessions, write out the inquiries on paper and let the boys read them before you begin the discussion.

9. Understand what fascinates the boys you train with and talk about them frequently: science, sporting events, new music, computer and others.

10. Discover how to use non face-to-face methods such as Email and Instant Messaging to build rapport and trust with boys ın between official proceedings.

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This article was written by Sean Buvala. Sean is the author of DaddyTeller where he teaches dads (and moms!) how to be better fathers (or moms!) with the skills of storytelling.